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Spiritual Life Coaching: Egoic Self Esteem Vs. Real Self Esteem

By August 12, 2017Ego

Anorexia does not exist in tribal cultures. It is a disease that is brought on by our “civilized” society. We are conditioned to feel shame and guilt from early on when we don’t “measure up” to others around us. It is the ego that inflicts hurt onto others and it is the ego that feels pain so intensely. Every negative emotion you’ve ever felt such as sadness, depression, or humiliation has been because of your ego’s reaction and nothing more.

Contrary to what you might think, the ego is not individualistic. It appears distinctive at first glance, but underneath the surface, its behavioral construct is identical in everyone. At the highest level, there really is only one egoic frequency. You have a choice to be controlled by it, or to transcend it. Spiritual Life Coaching can help you to transcend your ego so that you can move beyond emotional suffering and begin living a life of peace, balance, and tranquility.

Egoic self-esteem forms when the child compares knowledge, abilities, talents, skills, strengths, looks, parental status, etc. to the same in other children. It begins when the child says to his schoolmate, “I can do this better than you can.” This is a perfectly normal and healthy state of development in the child.

Low self-esteem or unhealthy self-esteem is the result of the child saying, “I’m not good enough to do this,” or “I could never do that.” As the child grows into adulthood, whether it developed healthy or unhealthy self-esteem, the individual remains trapped in the egoic mind that is constantly comparing itself–as either inferior or superior–to the abilities, talents, or success of others. I’m not implying here that one shouldn’t strive to achieve great things. What I am saying is that it is a travesty to define who you are based on what you do or what you accomplish in life. Furthermore, failure to meet up to your own standards or the standards of others will only bring you suffering. Instead of accomplishing great things to be happy, when you transcend the ego, you’ll happily achieve great things.

The world of form can never tell you who you are. True Self esteem is not derived from identification in the world of form. True Self esteem is not ephemeral and not dependent on being better or worse than someone else at what they do. You strive for great things because of the enrichment and enjoyment you receive from it, not because you derive a sense of who you are out it.

Nearly every week in the news we hear reports about famous celebrities who humiliate themselves because of their self-absorbed shenanigans. Their drama addiction takes them in and out of rehab, in and out of jail, in and out of relationships. This narcissistic behavior exemplifies the ego run amok, a train wreck, and like a supernova explosion; signifies the end of a star.

Egomania is more much common in the celebrity and/or person in power than it is in the average person because the identification with being in the spotlight, being adored by the public, and earning millions of dollars all reinforce the belief that they are “special” and far superior to “mortal men.” This feeling of superiority is intoxicating and when combined with alcohol or drugs, over time results in an engrained belief structure that becomes intransigent. It’s as if the ego says, “I have proof that I am untouchable, unfathomable, and superior to those who oppose me.”

These downward spirals that can be observed in the likes of Charlie Sheen, Mel Gibson, and Lindsay Lohan, just to name a few, are examples of the dysfunction of the egoic mind–taken to the extreme. Grandiosity, delusions of grandeur, deception, drug abuse, and hypomania are all symptoms of something far more disturbing; complete identification with the world of form.

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